Is it possible to make it more descriiptive much like the example essay I sent. Bringing yourself in as a story. I really like the use of the sources but it needs to be descriiptive as it is an experiment, much like SO100 Example essay. The topic there is different though. You can also make up interactions in either spaces or use some of my descriiption of the rock club.
To help, I have uploaded a rubric of a previous paper. I think the second page still applies to this paper.
General Descriiption:
Describe your own socialization into a set of class-specific competencies and dispositions, as Khan describes among St. Pauls students. Analyze the habitus of the rock club in a comparative context to the orchestra. Observe how people comport themselves and interact with others in two dissimilar sociological environments, and analyze how these differ between the two groups. Which of these behaviors are learned, and how? In the end, make an observation about how the classes are stratified between the rock club that is in a lower class neighborhood vs. orchestra that is in a upper class neighborhood in Boston. Sight culture concepts from Pierre bourdiou and Shamus Rahman Khans The Making of an Adolescent Elite at St. Pauls School book and goffmans paper attached about presentation of self. You can mention how they are both managing their impression and use impression management concepts mentioned by goffman. Notes for merna doc has some pierre bourdiou terms about cultural capital which is what you will mainly be analyzing. Rock club doc has my descriiptive experience at the rock club. Then, some few behaviours I have noticed. You can fill the gaps or create a descriiptive experience for the orchestra. You will need to compare and contrast, maybe bringing your specific class in as additional comparison. Goffman presentation of self pdf can be used to as source for impression management concepts. SO100 Paper 1 Example the teacher advised for it to have a similar style as this paper where they added descriiptive explaining of experiment and added concepts in every section. The other attached papers are khans book.